(Photo by Alicepopkorn on Flickr)
Comments to my post on Experiencing Guilt Down Memory Lane left me thinking. There was much to explore: Is it better not to dig up guilt? Why bother to go back to the past? Would it be dredging up a whole bunch of dirt? Wouldn’t it be better to bury it and concentrate on moving on? Let’s just say that I’ve done some soul searching and am highlighting some food for thought in today’s post:
1) Awareness or Guilt?
It was late in the evening yesterday. My husband was in the midst of reading Conversations with God Book III. I approached him as to what he thought about guilt as a negative emotion. Incidentally, he had just read page 5 of the book and proceeded to read it aloud to me. The book is written in a Q&A manner:
Q: That’s easier said than done. Sometimes I feel so guilty.
A:Guilt and fear are the only enemies of men.
Q: Guilt is important. It tells us when we’ve done wrong.
A:There is no such thing as “wrong”. There is only that which does not serve you; does not speak the truth about Who You are and Who You Choose to Be.
Guilt is the feeling that keeps you stuck in who you are not.Q: But guilt is the feeling that at least lets us notice we’ve gone astray.
A: Awareness is what you are talking about, not guilt.
I tell you this: Guilt is the blight upon the land; the poison that kills the plant.
You will not grow through guilt, but only shrivel an die.
Awareness is what you seek. But awareness is not guilt, and love is not fear.
Fear and guilt, I say again, are your enemies. Love and awareness are your true friends. Yet do not confuse the one with the other, for one will kill you, while the other gives you life.Q: Then, I shall not feel guilty about anything?
A: Never, ever. What good is there in it? It only allows you not to love yourself and that kills any chance that you could love one another.
Note: Aha!….Here is an important distinction made: Awareness and Guilt. In awareness, there is no judgement. In guilt, there is. We are not looking into our past to seek guilt but to seek for awareness. And should we experience guilt, we need to release it. Not releasing prevents us from loving completely.
2) When is a Good Time to Release Guilt?
Here is a real account of what happened to me. I had originally not intended to share it. I do not relish on being the prophet of all doom and gloom. But in the light of the comments on my previous post on Guilt, I feel that I need to close the loop to explain why I had warned that not dealing with overwhelming guilt may surface on your deathbed.
The Release of Guilt
It was last Wednesday evening. For some reason, as I was typing away my draft copy to the last post before publication, I felt a pain on the left side of my abdomen. I noted the pain and continued to type. But the pain refused to go away.
I was not happy to feel this pain. I had a ton of things to do and yet this pain was clearly slowing down my progress. After a while, I decided that I could not ignore it and tune into it.
Where does this pain come from, I thought. I recalled what I ate for the day and thought to myself: no - it is not from something I ate. Then, an intuitive thought arose: this pain is not “mine”.
It was a heavy topic that I was writing in my draft: guilt. I was not very sure whether I wanted to publish it. Who would want to read such a negative issue? Why don’t I just make my job simpler by writing more lighthearted posts?
Still, I plodded on. I might as well finish typing what I have started. The pain continued.
After completing the draft, I decided that enough was enough. I could not carry on at my PC anymore. The pain was just too unbearable and I switched off my laptop to turn in early. Lying on my bed in the dark, I closed my eyes; very much aware of my physical pain on my left side.
Just then, my husband walked into the room. He had just returned home. I opened my eyes and told him about the pain that I was having. He suggested that I used EFT. (EFT is basically a technique whereby you use your fingers to tap at certain energy meridian points on your body, for emotional release. If you need more information about EFT tapping, read my reviews here).
I could barely speak. I replied that I was too much in pain to tap. So, he offered to surrogate tap for me. (Put simply, surrogate tapping means getting someone else to tap for your pain. He visualizes you and taps himself for the release of your emotions).
I closed my eyes again.
In a flash, I saw an old woman. She was in her 80s, lying on her deathbed. She was in physical pain. I understood immediately. The pain belonged to her. Inner knowing arose. I had an idea of who she was.
Here was the irony. As much as she felt the physical pain, she wanted it. She knew that if she left the pain, she would die. She was not ready. She tried to cling on to her physical body. (She was attached to her pain body, much like what Eckhart Tolle talked about in his best selling book A New Earth.) She was not ready to leave yet.
I connected with her emotion. She was experiencing: Grief. Regret. Guilt.
The atmosphere was dense. It was a near-death scene.
Wait! I sensed someone in my mental picture. There was someone else in the room with her, watching her fight her last breath. The old woman did not want to leave this person. Her grief was overwhelming.
In the meantime, my husband was still tapping away, not knowing that these were the images that were flashed in my mind. With my eyes closed, I asked my husband not to stop. Continue with the EFT tapping, I requested.
As I immersed myself more deeply, tears started to flow. They soon gave way to a floodgate. I sobbed.
After a while, I opened my eyes and told my husband to stop. The physical pain was subsiding. The release of emotions left me exhausted.
In the morning, when I woke up, my pain was gone. It has not returned since.
Note: 1. When I first started having experiences like that, I would often question myself if my imagination was on overdrive. I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me. However, through my coach who also happens to be psychic, I have learned not to deny my experience. I am no actress either. My imagination could never have been so vivid as to render a flood of tears for more than 10 minutes.
2. Death is inevitable. The problem is that we do not know when this is going to happen. Neither do we want to focus on when. Instead, we choose to live life fully Every Single Day. So I would suggest that if guilt has plagued you significantly, allocate some time Now for emotional healing and not later.
3. The Past is the Past; Why Not Let It Be?
Throughout the weekend, I continued to ask for divine guidance if I should share my above story. Real as it has been to me, my concern was that readers would not like to read a story that was not uplifting. A chance review with my notes on Sedona Method made me sit up.
Hale Dwoskin, the developer of the Sedona Method, had deliberately not shared an important finding in the basic part of his program. Why? He admitted that it would be hard for many people to accept it. So here is what he shared in the advanced program: There are no problems in the present moment.
Okay…what is this mumbo jumbo about? It simply means that pain is just a memory. Sure there are sensations felt Now but the pain itself is a thing of the past. What has been happening is that you have in fact been seeking your problems. You think that you are having problems and that they are your immediate reality. You are not aware that they actually do not exist at this present moment, rather they have their roots in the past. To release your current problems therefore, you need to go back to your past.
Note: This concept is sure not easy to understand. I have got problems myself understanding fully the idea that problems do not exist in the Now. If I have not gone through my own personal experience with my physical pain and the old woman and all, I would have simply not paid any attention to what Hale Dwoskin shared in his research.
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Raise Energy Consciousness in 3 Steps
The whole idea of discussing guilt is to investigate for areas that may be lowering your energy vibrations. You want to be net-positive in what you exude.
I have got to clarify that I am not suggesting a constant need to look at past memories to dig up guilt. Instead, I would suggest that you do so, only if there is a need to. In what instances? In the situation when guilt holds you back, prevents you from moving forward and in loving yourself more fully.
Guilt surfaces on its own. It lowers your energy consciousness. It lurks in the background. You can choose to ignore it but it will always be there, until you release it. Read the following encouragement:
Your spiritual growth does not happen when you are peaceful and content. It happens when you get angry, sad, greedy, jealous, critical, impatient. It happens when you lose your “spiritual mask”, and realize that you are not superman or woman, but just an ordinary human being learning how to love.
— Quote by Paul Ferrini
Here are 3 steps when guilt gets in the way of our energy consciousness:
1. Seek awareness. Be in tune with your emotions. Your emotions form a feedback system. Many of the energy healing practitioners propose this too; Esther and Jerry Hicks, Louis Hay and Hale Dwoksin, to name a few. Hence, be aware - and not punish yourself - because of guilt.
2. If you suspect that you are feeling guilt in a negative and major way, then just release it. You can use either EFT or the Sedona Method. It only takes 5 minutes for basic clearing but more if you want to work on it at deeper layers.
My old-woman-lying-on-the-deathbed experience tells me that I would not want to wait too long to clear any major instances of feeling guilt. In any case, it would be silly for me to procrastinate since it takes all but 5-20 minutes for emotional release.
3. It is not guilt that is driving your positive actions forward. It is awareness. Instead of channeling guilt to anger, redirect it to kindness and compassion to others who are also in agony. You champion for causes that involve personal transformation, turning tragedy into success. Let your actions spring from love. (Of course, if you want to be absolutely sure that it is love that you are acting out from and not guilt, you can always choose to do step 2 above). Some action examples:
- If you have been always been a class bully, how about volunteering to help victims of abuse?
- If you have caused grief to others in the past, how about taking some time to serve the public community in terms of counseling?
- If you have backstabbed others in the office in the past, how about making it a point to be nicer to all new recruits to your organization?
I decided finally to publish my story and to invite your comments. If you have got a similar experience to mine, do also share yours.
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Hi Evelyn,
I have always enjoyed stories based on real experiences, and - pardon my weirdness - I feel rather uplifted reading this article! You have taken a core emotion, stared at it unflinchingly, shaken and stirred it, and gave us some really nice solutions to it. I think that deserves an applause!
“Awareness”, not “guilt”. I like that much better.
Hi Irene, okay…you are weird! I was not exactly ecstatic to have to go through such an emotional draining exercise. To set the record straight, I had not intended consciously to delve into my past so that I can heal from guilt. In fact, I did not even know I had any in that manner.
From my experience, I had a first hand peek of what it felt like to be attached to the physical body. The attachment during my experience was so strong that it was unbelievable!
At least for now, I do not understand things from an intellectual level but from an insight. A lightbulb came on inside my head. I also feel much “lighter”. It is as if I’ve shed some very heavy and dense energy levels and come into a nicer state of peace and calm.
Thanks for being supportive in my sharing. I didn’t quite think that anyone would like reading such a story.
Evelyn
Dear Evelyn,
Thank you for sharing your experience. Too many people are not brave enough to do so. The concept of Awareness vs Guilt is so valuable that I can take it readily into my heart and hope others do the same.
A skeptic might smirk that you had a kidney stone, but any mystic can tell you it was a true learning and teaching experience.
My husband’s favorite phrase, which I also love, is the reminder that “We are not humans having a spiritual experience. We are spirits having a human experience.”
I seldom share my out of body or mystical experiences, out of concern that the listener might not be ready to know these things BUT you are brave to share your feeling of “lightness”.
When we are not in these bodies, we are free and fast and light and powerful. We willingly take on our heavy “human suit”, with it’s attached “emotional eyeglass/blinders”, so our soul can learn and overcome.
The understanding, compassion and pure love of the powerful spirit underneath this heavy “human suit” (it’s the only way I can describe it) makes guilt and fear just lessons that we choose to learn - to understand their purpose in the unenlightened - and to grow not to need them anymore.
Thank you for sharing a beautiful and important experience.
I guess I’m as “weird” as Irene! Heh! Heh!
Your friend through the ages,
Brennan
Hi Evelyn, after reading your post, I feel encouraged to remain open to what I feel; to slow down or even come to a complete stop when my body has something to say to me; to be ever mindful of the power of love as my medium of choice for awareness; to know that techniques exist that can support me in my quest to release dense emotions; to further my intention to live in the light of truth. Your courage to share your experience intimately inspires me, and you have my deepest gratitude. Thank you.
“Instead of channeling “guilt†to anger, redirect it to kindness and compassion to others”. I LOVE this, and I also love your specific suggestions. What an inspiring post. Thank you.
Hello Brennan, I’ve chosen to keep my silence for some time. I was also concerned about the same; that I’ll be confronted by plenty of sceptics. I did not want to feel the need to justify what were very real experiences to me.
However, with the writing of this post, I’ve changed my mind. If I am encouraging others to be authentic in their expression, be fearless and to be open to all possibilities, then I feel as if I am shooting myself in the foot with my very own concerns. As mentioned in one of my posts, I cannot be a better mentor or coach if I have not myself transcended some of the negative stuff that I’ve teaching here on this site.
I am so thankful that you have come forward to share your personal insights. They are so beautiful. I completely understand what you said about the “human suit”, not just intellectually, but with deep awareness.
With what you’ve shared so far in the various comments on this site, I already know you to be one SPECIAL lady. I’m happy to be your friend! May the weird ones flock together!
Evelyn
Hello Christopher, thank you for letting me know that you’ve gained from this post.
You’ve expressed your intentions in spiritual growth so beautifully. I connected with what you said immediately for I am pretty much on the same path. The quest is to merge as One in consciousness; yet knowing that we are not left alone without devices or techniques to help us.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Evelyn
Hello Vered, thanks for your feedback. I’m glad that you enjoyed this post.
In Loving Abundance,
Evelyn
Hi Evelyn. What an amazing post!
“You are not aware that they [problems] actually do not exist at this present moment, rather they have their roots in the past. To release your current problems therefore, you need to go back to your past.”
This statement really made me think. Although I wouldn’t know where to start. There is so much “past”. I guess the EFT would direct me???
I am glad you shared this experience. I have had many “weird” experiences myself. Maybe I’ll share them one day.
I just published a comment and it disappeared, so I’m trying again.
Evelyn, this was an amazing post!
“You are not aware that they [problems] actually do not exist at this present moment, rather they have their roots in the past. To release your current problems therefore, you need to go back to your past.”
This really made me think! A whole new perspective that I hadn’t ever considered. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It turned on a light for me.
Hi there Evelyn - I love the way you are writing so openly about your emotional experiences, and I think it’s SO helpful if people can get in touch with their guilt feelings and release them in some way (because guilt isn’t real).
I can really relate to you not wanting to post because you thought the subject might be too heavy going - when I have felt like that and did it anyway It worked out OK (well… I’ll never know about the people who clicked the ‘back’ button!).
Hello Davina, if you want to release your emotions, then you will need to go into your past and use EFT if it is the method of choice. Do come out of your closet and tell your experiences. I’d be interested to read them!
Hello Robin, thanks so much for your support and encouragement. I’m in jitters as to what the response will be like. However, I’ve always been up to adventures. So I’m really going out of my comfort zone here, in revealing more about such weired stuff!
In Love, light and truth,
Evelyn
Hi Evelyn,
Your readers come here because they like what you say and how you view life. Sharing your life experiences so others can learn is priceless. You are also giving action points in this post which is so very valuable. A lot of people get “stuck” in guilt. In my healing method I have self-forgiveness as one of the process necessary to go through in order to heal. I know personally I have usually been much harder on myself than on anyone else.
I had a DVT in my leg a couple of years ago and notice that when I am particularly stressed, working on something intense or feel overwhelmed the pain comes back to the area where it was. I had felt VERY guilty when I got sick and was in the hospital for all the extra work I was causing my family, for their worry, for not taking better care of myself, for making my husband give me the shots in my stomach since I felt I couldn’t handle it….At first when it reappeared my thought was “OH No ANOTHER DVT”. Now I take stock for the moment and KNOW that pain is in the past and it is my body’s way of saying “Wake Up Jen!” “Pay Attention — are you HERE NOW?”. I am grateful for this little reminder now and the pain comes a lot less often as I awaken a bit more every day. Akemi’s reading and clearing helped a lot as well!
Thank you for sharing your story Evelyn — I am sure there are many that have experiences like yours and they will be grateful you shared as well.
Stumbled and thoroughly enjoyed!
Love,
Jenny
Hi Evelyn
I loved the distinction between guilt and awareness too. We don’t always realize how much stuff we take on, pick up and carry that isn’t ours. So much more than we realize. I have a huge toolbox of different processes including EFT that I can access. What’s interesting to me are the times when I don’t use them - when I allow my guilt to punish me (beating myself up for something!) from having a healing experience. That’s a great awareness too and one that I am still working through.
PS - I love your authenticity. When you look at the posts that have attracted the most comments - are they ones when you have shared a personal story?
Blessings,
Lorraine
http://www.powerfull-living.biz
I’ll chime in on that powerful distinction as well. I love the Conversations with God books because they present such powerful concepts very clearly and simply. So guilt is really awareness that we’ve decided to see in a less than flattering light.
Evelyn fear not. We all know how postiive you are. Share what your intution tells you to. We’ll embrace you regardless.
While it is good to have awareness of our past actions, don’t allow them to become a prison that stops you from taking any future actions in the right direction. You have the power to change your behavior at any second of the day. The past and the future don’t exist, the present moment is the only reality you will ever know
@Lorraine, it sure feels wonderful that we have available a toolbox filled with all sorts of techniques that can readily help us if we need them. It’s not just you; I also need to be reminded about that too….LOL! Each can serve us in a different way. The only way is to be very aware of our present moments and to whip up what can help us best when we are being challenged.
@Tom, I’m glad that you agree with the distinction too. We attach our own meaning to the past. Unfortunately, this meaning is translated to guilt. Awareness is so much more healing!
I read your message with much gratitude. Thanks for supporting me in my work.
Evelyn
Hi Evelyn!
I’m so glad you shared this story with us, please always share your journey with us as you see it, because I am honored to read it and to get your thoughtful perspective.
It is really great timing to read this article. For the last week I have been discussing with my husband a particular “feeling tone” that has been with me for years. It’s very specific, yet almost hard to pick out because I’m so familiar with it. I began asking for guidance, the opportunity to understand it further and to let it go. 2 nights ago I had a very intense dream and in the morning when I was describing the dream to my husband I suddenly broke down into tears. It was so clear that it was guilt. The dream brought to surface the guilt I was holding as a child and I felt it clear as day right at my kitchen sink.
It’s so amazing that the process happened the way it did. Thank you for sharing!
Ps..I’m going now to check out EFT…FINALLY!!
Beautiful post, Evelyn. I love the Sedona method. MusicMan and I swear by it. I tried to get into EFT but it never really clicked with me so I didn’t force it, and besides I’ve had good results with Sedona.
And I think this quote is a good one to remember:
“Your spiritual growth does not happen when you are peaceful and content. It happens when you get angry, sad, greedy, jealous, critical, impatient.”
because often these emotions can make us feel like we’re going backwards on our spiritual journey when really that is not the case. Really, we’re being given opportunities for growth, which you can choose to welcome and flow with. It definitely makes life that much more easier than resistance.
Kelly
@Steve, thanks for the reminder “The past and the future don’t exist, the present moment is the only reality you will ever know”. Spiritually, this seems to be a key lesson that I am supposed to be learning this week.
@Monica, oh wow…I didn’t realise that my post can help you in some way! I am quite a “dreamy” person myself. I have lots of semi-conscious dreams. Usually there is some kind of message and a release needed.
Your spiritual guides are certainly helping you. It’s wonderful! If you can use EFT, it will be great as you can make sure that there is a more complete release.
Hi Kelly, I’m also of the opinion that you use whatever method best suits you. I have a preference towards EFT. Maybe it’s because I was introduced to it earlier and some years back. I also like EFT because I can also surrogate tap for my family (kids and all) if needed. Having said that, I also choose to go through The Sedona Method every now and then.
Yes..the quote is a good reminder. You’ve just voiced what I feel sometimes: as if I am going back in my spiritual growth. In reality, it is not. I would be if I do not use whatever techniques to help me release.
Thanks for sharing,
Evelyn
One of the biggest take home from this article for me has been that we can feel guilty about something within and not know of it on a conscious level. This makes it more important to deal with them whenever they pop up.
The tapping method sounds very interesting. This is the second time I heard about it. I will surely read about it in more detail.
I like your suggestion of chanelling guilt towards kindness rather than anger. However, I have a concern - Sometimes, it’s possible to be driven to doing good stuff because of existing guilt - one which stays for lifelong and doesn’t go away.
I believe it’s equally important to learn to forgive self and understand that our actions at that time were driven by someone(our past self) who is not as matured and spiritually evolved as us (our current self).
Hello Avani, thanks for your feedback.
Regarding your concern about it is possible to be doing good stuff because of existing guilt, that is why I recommend “releasing”. Unless you can be truly sure that guilt is not lurking in the shadows that drive your actions, then by all means, there is no need for release because there is none to begin with in the first place.
With love,
Evelyn
Hi Evelyn,
I’ve never had an experience like you described, but I found this post very fascinating. Your writing totally captured my interest.
I like the part of “do not punish yourself because of guilt”. I think too many people do.
Hi Barbara, I’ve been having these type of experiences since last year. Usually, there is an underlying message for me. The mind does become clearer and sharper, with the release and shedding of negative layers buried deep inside.
From my findings, emotions if left unresolved, can leave an energetic imprint on your soul and carried with you, irrespective of lifetimes. Therefore, do not hold on to major negative ones nor try to create more. Best is to be aware, face it, release and move on!
In Loving Kindness,
Evelyn
nice post, thanks for sharing.
I have never read a beautiful composition on guilt until now….and trust me, I grew up in a religion and ethnic background that knew a lot about guilt. In handwriting analysis, there is even a stroke that reflects guilt…
Your experience about the woman resisting physical death was beautiful and enlightening to me. I have also been trying to interpret my pain and it is surprising to hear what is really being said emotionally. Thank you Thank you thank you for being so open. Integrity and courage are you.
I’ve had a number of spontaneous “other life” memories. I don’t seek them, especially, but many of them have kind of “made sense” when I considered them later. And at least one led to the completely spontaneous remission of chronic pain that had no real medical explanation.
I’ll share that one, just because it seems appropriate. For many years, I had a great deal of pain in my feet. There was no reason for this. I didn’t have any injuries. I tried all kinds of things, including different kinds of shoes, exercise, soaking my feet in hot water and epsom salts, pain relievers, and on and on. Nothing really helped. Some things helped for the short term (pain relievers and the hot water soaks, for example), but still, I’d wake in the morning and have to literally hobble out of bed because the pain was so bad. I wasn’t doing anything to cause such severe pain; my work involves sitting at the computer for long periods of time. I actually should get MORE exercise, so I wasn’t overworking my feet in any way.
Finally, after reading a book about how discovering past life memories can relieve pain and phobias and such, I thought, well, it couldn’t possibly hurt. Next time I went to meditate, I set the intention to see if there was some spiritual or other-worldly explanation for the pain in my feet. Very quickly, a vision came to me.
Basically, I was put in a sort of wooden frame and my feet were beaten with a rod. I had the sense that it was somewhere in Asia, China, perhaps, and I was male. I felt as though this was punishment for some crime, and I was, oddly, accepting of it. I didn’t like it, or welcome it, but I submitted to it, and I accepted that the punishment was deserved. I felt that from then on, I was basically crippled, with constant pain in my feet.
That’s all there was to it. I came out of the meditation thinking, “Well, that was weird.” Then I chalked it up to “interesting visions and things I’ve experienced during meditation” and left it at that.
But the pain subsided. I haven’t had problems with my feet since then. I can walk all day and have only normal tired feet. I never, ever wake up and have to hobble because the pain is so bad.
What does it mean? I don’t know. My husband thinks the vision was symbolic, that it meant that I was manifesting the pain on myself out of some kind of guilt or shame, and that I had released that, and that’s why the pain went. He may be right. To me, it felt like another life, that was mine and not mine all at the same time.
Whatever it was, the vision is as clear now as it was when I had it, and the pain in the feet has not been a problem for over a year now. Weird? Yeah, I certainly think so. But it helped, and that’s what I feel is important. Whether it was a symbolic thing, like a dream, or a memory of some other life that was meant to show me something, or it really was “me” in some sense, the memory/vision/experience/whatever seems to have fixed the chronic foot problem I had for years and which no doctor or therapist could figure out.
I’m just glad it helped, whatever it was.
CaterpillarWoman, thanks so much for sharing. Your story with the chronic pain and all sounds similar to mine. Your account that you may be male or an Asian is believable, because of my own experiences with mine.
I’ve also been able to set intentions before I meditate, to deal with certain current issues. My gut instincts have been that the solutions to these issues cannot be found in the present life. And I’m usually right.
It’s amazing that we can learn to “cure” ourselves on emotional and physical levels, accessing past memories that we’ve had. Too many of us turn to drugs when the real solutions are actually within us.
Evelyn
Evelyn, great article. Personal experience reaches people on the most meaningful level I believe. When you share a story that is true it is much more difficult for others to ignore the wisdom of your insights. Personal stories encourage others to be brave with their own experiences and life learning opportunities. So bravo for that. I also concur with your comments on awareness. My conscious-living motto is “What You Notice Matters!” I believe that simple awareness holds the answer to many (if not all) of our emotional, physical and spiritual questions and quandaries. Intentional awareness, rather than reaction, is empowering. Intentional awareness energetically opens the door for intuition and access to the sub-conscious. The quote about emotional struggle being necessary for soul growth is interesting. Is there a difference then between spiritual expansion through emotional stuggles and spiritual expansion or the heightened connection to inner wisdom that occurs through awareness and meditation? I have had great AHAs and insights from moments of quietness in which information and connections rise to my conscious mind so that I’m able to make better sense of my past and my current actions. This feels expansive to me. I’d love your thoughts on this.