Attraction Mind Map

I have been dealing with my fear of spirits for two weeks already. My guess is that my fears surfaced due to two reasons. For one, I have reached deeper layers of meditation and the second is that the fear took the chance to surface when my husband was away. As I meditated late into the wee hours of the morning, it creeped back. Knowing that I was alone intensified my fears.

I have always been afraid of the dark since young. Horror stories of ghastly spirits pretty much scared me out of my wits. I could not watch gory movies and did not relish scaring myself silly either. I also suffered badly from insomnia, when my mind just refused to rest. Into the night, as I lay tossing on my bed, my imagination would then take hold of me. It got even harder to fall asleep as I played out every imaginable scene from horror movies.

I met up with my therapist, Siewfan, when I just could not seem to have a major breakthrough in using EFT tapping on myself. The fear of spirits is tied to the fear of death, she said. I related that my fear probably had its origins from my grandfather’s death. I was around 10-12 then. He had passed away due to lung cancer from years of heavy smoking. Drinking also had not helped his health.

My grandmother insisted that he be given the traditional Taoist funeral. There were supersitious beliefs that we were made to go through. According to Taoist beliefs, the soul or the spirit of the dead would come back to visit after 7 days, amongst others. I was intensely frightened. This was my first encounter with death in the family. No one took the time to explain things to me. I did not know what to believe in or even whether the beliefs had any basis. Since that time, my fears would play up. I got afraid of the dark. I suffered from years, with having to live with this fear.

I did a round of EFT tapping during my therapy session with Siewfan. She also determined that somehow, my fears have also been blocking my abundance. My fears went down to zero, with the tapping. I thought I felt better that day, after the session, as I left her home.

However, strangely, I continued to have to battle my fears every night. Sure…my fears were not as intense as they were the first time they surfaced two weeks ago. But I had remaining fears that went on every night until two days ago.

My husband had come home and he decided to help me. He said that it could be that there was something else that I have not addressed. So when it was time to go to bed, he suggested that we try to target whatever remaining fear there was.

I was exhausted from two weeks of little sleep and did not have the energy to tap myself. So he proceeded to do surrogate EFT tapping for me. He pictured me in his mind and then asked me to imagine my fear.

I decided to face my fear of spirits by picturing my grandfather once again. Instead of battling this time, I told myself to just let go and see what would arise. With my eyes closed, I soon “saw” him in my mind. For some reason, my tears started to flow. I burst out crying. I realised that I had blocked out my grief for the longest time. Fear had so gripped me that I had failed to connect with the love that I felt for him. That night, in my mind, I acknowledged his love for me. I recalled that he had a particular fondness for me ever since I was born. He had demonstrated love for me, by buying me plenty of presents, and was ever so concerned for me. I proceeded to send him love energy, imagining us holding hands bathed in light, knowing no fear.

My tears continued to flow. I opened my eyes. My husband was still doing surrogate EFT tapping for me, even while he noticed my tears. I felt a sense of release, a sort of closure. It was a major breakthrough. I slept well the last two nights.

For some strange reasons, once yesterday and once again today, I came across this poem from two unrelated places…it struck a chord….

“Don’t stand by my grave and weep,
For I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond’s glint on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
In the soft hush of the morning light
I am the swift bird in flight
Don’t stand by my grave and cry,
I am not there,
I did not die.

— Unknown Native American Author

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