Photo credit: Glennf at Flickr
I’m submitting this post as a response to the challenge posed by Bruce Kuykendall on The 5 Little Things Challenge for the month of April. Out of the 5 things he proposed, I’ve decided to pick the one that is perhaps the most inspiring: Commit a Random Act of Kindness.
Firstly, before I share about what I did, I’d like to, for those who are new to this idea, define what is meant by the phrase “random act of kindness”.
What is a Random Act Of Kindness
Here is how Wikipedia definites a random act of kindness….
“A random act of kindness is a purportedly selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual or in some cases even an animal. There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile, or be happier. Either spontaneous or planned in advance, random acts of kindness are encouraged by various communities.”
In 1982, California peace activist Ann Herbert scribbled on a placemat in a restuarant “Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” The words left an impression on a fellow diner, who later told the phrase to others. The words inspired much thought and conversation, including the movie “Pay it Forward” in 2000. An international bestseller also helped to catapult this concept .
There is now a World Kindness Movement. I also found out to my surprise, while doing a google search, that many of the meetings by this movement is being held here from Singapore (my country).
Why Bother To Make A Random Act of Kindness
Perhaps, you may be wondering why bother to make your act of kindness Random? Isn’t it enough to be kind to your family members, friends and colleagues or at least, to the people that you come into contact with?
Well, commiting a random act of kindness is a demonstration of the generosity of your spirit. Kindness is an expression of love. It is an abundance concept. It is the thinking that you are full of love for your fellow human kind that you’ve got more to give, even to strangers or people that you don’t really know.
“A random act of kindness is a manifestation of abundance thinking.” — Evelyn at www.attractionmindmap.com
Sure, you do have to start with being kind to those nearest to you. However, when you commit an act randomly, maybe anonymously as well, you are extending an energy of love, hope, trust and support to the Universe.
Making a random act of kindness is fulfilling in itself. It provides you the opportunity for expansive awareness, a chance to explore your potential for human divinity. While you may have commited your act to benefit the recipient and not to ask for anything in return, you get untold benefits in terms of joy and purpose that you have served others. Do it often enough, it’s no longer called random; it’s kindness that permeats all levels of your Being.
“Some measure their lives by days and years,
Others by heart throbs, passion and tears;
But the surest measure under the sun,
Is what in your lifetime for others you have done.”
— Ruth Smeltzer
Random Act of Kindness To Dissolve Random Act of Violence
As it is often discussed, random acts of kindness is today’s antitode to random acts of terrorism and violence. You continue to read in the papers about intricate plots by terrorist groups, bent on crashing or bombing planes killing randomly all on board. These are usually sensational news, perhaps meant to highlight to you the importance about being vigiliant and to treasure peace and security. At the same time, how often do you read of reported cases of random acts of kindness? If random acts of kindess can be encouraged, they can overshadow acts of senseless killing, bringing about a More Loving World.
The threat of terrorism is a dense negative energy that you probably instinctively experience, whenever you come across such news. You feel it in the chill of your spine, thinking about how potentially destructive terrorism can be.
It’s good to be aware that random acts of kindness can dissolve this negative energy, bringing the Universe to much light. Then, maybe, these so-called random acts of kindness will not be occuring at an infrequent time space reality but much as a way of life.
How To Make A Random Act of Kindness
It’s more than likely that you’ve ever committed a random act of kindness. To make this a conscious process, simply form an intention to be kind and start with an act today.
You may be tempted to think that an act of kindness often involves the giving of money or the buying of gifts. However, it need not necessarily be so. It can be as simple as sending a card, doing a unsolicated task for those in need or letting others in a hurry to get ahead of you in line.
As with everything, the more often you do it, the more it becomes a habit. Your next act can seem small to you but may mean a lot to the recipient!
Aesop once said…
“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
My Random Act of Kindness
Here’s my random act of kindness that I would like to share. I’ve often noticed irate drivers while parking my car in shopping centers during peak hours. Cars will be circling round waiting for a slot.
I may have entered the carpark later but more often than not, I would get a slot pretty fast. It helps that I use the three-fingers technique from the Silva Method to “intend” for an empty lot quickly. (If you want to learn this technique, read the instructions in the box below.)
If I’m not in a hurry, I may just graciously give it up to a driver of another car, waiting some distance away. I do not focus on the fact that it may take ages for me to find another empty space. Instead, I’ll just wait around and use the Silva Method to “manifest” another free opening for my car!!
The three-fingers technique is a simple technique to learn. Simply put your first three fingers together and program yourself by going into the alpha level and state that it will always be easy for you to find the shortest queue, a free parking space or not having to wait to get tickets. Each finger apparently represents a subjective energy, desire, belief and expectancy. Together, the three implies faith. Visualisation is key to success for this method. When you next encounter the situation, simply put your three fingers together and visualise the picture of your desired intent. Viola!! You will be surprised by the results.
Well, yesterday was no exception. I was parking my car on a Sunday in a busy mall. A perfect opportunity presented itself for me to commit a random act of kindness.
14 Other Examples For A Random Act of Kindness To Pick From
If you are busted for ideas, here are 14 more examples to kickstart your intention for a random act of kindness:
1. Pay the toll for the person behind you.
This is perhaps the most common example cited. If you’re at a motorway toll booth, pay for the car behind.
2. Donate to a charitable cause.
Turn your papers today to look for a charitable cause to donate to. Forget about the tax break for larger donation sums, even if it is a small amount that you can afford.
3. Send an anonymous card.
Think about someone who deserves to know that he or she is worthy of love or as an acknowledgement of what he or she has done. How often have we been rendered good customer service and a “thank you” is all we give? How about taking it one step further? Send a card. You may not even want to sign off with your name.
4. Deliver a goodie basket made with love.
Bake muffins or cookies and send them to the old folk’s or children’s home.
5. Be kind to your environment.
Avoid littering your environment. Treat your environment with loving care and kindness. While at the beach, pick up the rubbish.
6. Cheer the disspirited.
Grab a bunch of flowers and give it to the cleaner of the toilets in your office building. He or she may be looking somewhat disspirited while slogging away at a less-than glamourous job.
7. Let the person in a hurry behind, go before you.
If you are not in a hurry but notice that the person behind you is, let him or her go first. Here you are showing kindness by giving up your time.
8. Lend a helping hand to a distraught parent.
Kids missing in shopping centers or in public areas occur very often. Parents are often distraught. Offer to help look for these kids.
9. Give up your seat in the public bus to the weary soul.
While it may not take all that much for you to give up your seat in a crowded public bus to the pregnant or the elderly, how about giving up your seat to just any passenger who looks weary or who is carrying a heavy bag?
10. Offer your hand in carrying groceries at the supermarket.
If you notice someone who is struggling with carrying bags of groceries, offer to help lighten their load.
11. Be kind to stray cats or dogs.
The practice of loving kindness should not just extend to your fellow human race. You should also show kindness to animals. If you notice a stray cat or dog, do the right thing and not kick it away!
12. Do a secret act of service.
If you notice a neighbour or a colleague in need of some assistance, how about rendering the help secretly? It can be mowing your neighbour’s untidy lawn or it can be sorting out some files for your colleague. Leave an anonymous card that says “please pay it forward”.
13. Give up your lunch to the needy.
How about skipping your expensive lunch today and donating the money away? Or you can buy lunch and give it to the begger on the street round the corner. Consider having just a salad for yourself instead.
14. Volunteer your help randomly.
Pick randomly a family or someone in crisis. Don’t know where to look? Search your local newspaper for leads. Determine if you can offer in kind or in service.
15. Follow the example on the picture of this post (see above).
The photo opportunity was apparently spotted under the Aurora Bridge in Fremont, Seattle, Wash. If you’ve picked up something that you think may be of value to someone out there, write a short note with your contact details and place it at the location where you’ve found the item.
This list is by no means exhaustive. The idea is to be creative and spontaneous. Be on the prowl over the next few days for an unsuspecting recipient. Rise up to Bruce’s challenge for a Better Month of April and beyond!
“The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”— Albert Schweitzer, Nobel Prize Winner
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[...] Evelyn added an interesting post today (A Random Act of Kindness: 15 Ideas To Kickstart Your Intention).Here’s a little bit of it:If I’m not in a hurry, I may just graciously give it up to a driver of another car, waiting some distance away. I do not focus on the fact that it may take ages for me to find another empty space. Instead, I’ll just wait around and use … [...]
I really like this idea. It’s a classic win/win situation. The reciever feels great because some unknown person has bothered to help lighten their day. This in iteslf can be a brilliant break state for anaybody not in a good nood. The giver feels just as good for knowing they have helped with that, hav eyou ever given a gift and not felt fantastic.
I do think this idea has greater impact when we do this anonymously because that way there is no ulterior motive other than to help another human being, which is a great motive in it’s own right!
GREAT post today over here. Love this one, and I try and do at least 3 random acts of kindness a week…making it into a habit is a GREAT thing to do.
Thank you,
Todd
Random acts of kindness can become second nature to you if you follow the Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Great post Evelyn!
Hi Todd, thanks for the taking the lead to make random acts of kindness become a habit!
Hi Tim, I forget to add the tip that the internet offers us opportunities to help other sites. I sometimes social bookmark anonymously!
Zhereford, I never thought of it that way. Giving is best from the heart, not expecting anything in return.
With much thanks and appreciation for your comments,
Evelyn
Dear Evelyn,
Reading your blog always adds a bright spot to my day.
Thank you for the mention about helping stray dogs and cats. It’s refreshing to have someone refer to helping furbabies as a good thing, rather than weird.
ALl the best to you!
*smile* I really like this
I think I have a couple of ideas now as to what I can do to brighten someones day..
I have a couple of people in mind
thank you - your blog is lovely by the way
[...] http://www.attractionmindmap.com/a-random-act-of-kindness-15-ideas-to-kickstart-your-intention/ [...]
This is a great post, Evelyn. It’s always a pleasure reading your posts. Any Random Act of Kindness to the ‘other’ is actually an act of kindness to yourself. So why deny yourself the opportunity to be kind to yourself through ‘another’.
If you want the proof of this, notice the sudden shift of energy within you just by the mere thought of committing a Random Act of Kindness. It uplifts your positive energy level and attracts other positive good events, people, circumstances, stuff, etc to you and kind of neutralises negative energy all around you.
So go ahead and commit an Random Act of Kindness today.
This post made my day. I especially love the “Be Kind to Stray Cats and Dogs.”
We have these drive-through coffee shops here and a friend of mine used to buy the coffee for the person behind him in the line.
I enjoyed what you had to say regarding Kindness. Thanks for posting. Will continue to read your blog. Below is my thoughts regarding Kindness…
The word kindness immediately congers up a multitude of possibilities that are as diverse as you are unique. The one common thread however is that kindness is an inherent quality that we all possess. For a multitude of reasons it has become a principle that has been forfeited by many, and consequently, all too often selfishness and self centeredness trump the principle of kindness.
There is an expression that I learned many years ago in my therapy practice that has been forever carved into my mind. It goes like this. “They might not remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” Think about it? As you look at every interaction you can remember, ask yourself, “How did this person make me feel”? It is likely you won’t remember a great deal of the content, but it is very likely you’ll have a memory as to how you felt. You’ll probably recognize that the positive memories you recall are in part, based on experiencing authentic kindness, and in part, a recollection that you mattered to that person.
As you go through your day to day existence, how many opportunities are presented to you to practice an act of kindness. It could take form with a kind word, a kind action or gesture, or helping a family member or colleague with some needed support. If you really take time to think about it, the times that we feel the best are when we are in service to others. We are wired to give, not to get. Understanding this principle is a key to feeling a sense of purpose and well being.
There are natural laws that are engaged in the act of kindness that serve to reinforce the motivation to be kind at every opportunity presented. These natural laws help us to feel good about ourselves as well as experience a quiet joy and sense of satisfaction deep within. The following are just a few of the secret rewards and benefits that accompany a kind act.
1. Selflessness. Thinking about the well being and care of another
2. Respect: Treating others as equals.
3. Integrity: Looking in the mirror at the end of the day and liking the person we were today.
4. Love: A state of consciousness that gives and cares, for its own sake.
5. Thoughtfulness: Making someone else’s life just a bit easier.
6. Caring: The act of helping another breathe just a bit easier.
Growing up, I definitely had my share of challenges. They mostly played out at the emotional level and would manifest in some pretty outlandish behavior. I had a lot of difficulties displaying kindness unless there was something in it for me. I remember having a sweet disposition but it was usually usurped with self centered thinking and behaviors that created some devastating consequences for me as I got older.
My father would get quite exasperated with me at times and I must say that I gave him good cause. On one occasion however, I recall my father displaying one of my most memorable acts of kindness I ever experienced. I was 16 years old and I had just gotten my driver’s license. It was pouring down rain and I wanted to take my dad’s car and go to a friend’s house to visit. I called my father at his office and asked him if I could take his car. He told me no, since I didn’t have much practice at driving the big Bonneville, and due to the weather being horrible. I pleaded my case but he was unyielding.
Being the 16 year old that I was, I chose to take the car anyway and have it back in the driveway before he ever got home from work. I made it to my friend’s house just fine, and I felt in control. I told myself that dad would never be none the wiser and all was well. It was time to head home giving myself ample time to drive in the inclement weather and still be home with time to spare. I had driven about 3 blocks when I approached a stop sign. I made a complete stop, and the traffic was clear in both directions (so I thought). As I pulled out onto a main road, I got plowed by a driver, smashing into the front left fender of the Bonneville. There we were, in the middle of the pouring rain with traffic all around us.
To say I was terrified is an understatement. I did however, have the where with all to exchange information with the other driver. The Bonneville still ran, and after all of the information had been exchanged, I drove home with the fender scraping against the front tire in tears. I pulled the car into the driveway and I looked at the damage before entering the house. It was quite significant and I knew I’d have to tell my dad. I was terrified and I knew I was in deep water.
My heart was pounding as I waited for my father to arrive home from work. I recall that as soon as he walked in the door drenched from the down pour, I ran up to him in tears and threw my arms around him explaining what I had done. I was so ashamed of myself and was very regretful. His fist words were “Are you okay and was anybody hurt”? I told him I was fine and the other driver hadn’t been hurt either.
My father took off his coat and told me he would talk with me in a little while. He went out and took a look at his car, and when he came back he asked me to join him in the family room. He started out by telling me he was disappointed that I had not listened to him. He then went on to say that we would get things worked out together. As the days passed by and he dealt with the insurance companies and the woman I had hit, he kept me up to date on what was transpiring (she was claiming she had been hurt in the crash).
My dad never raised his voice, didn’t shame me one time throughout the whole experience, stood by my side while at the same time held me accountable. I lost the privilege to drive for a while but never lost the connection with my dad due to his relentless kindness throughout the whole ordeal.
We can have countless reasons, justifications and excuses to overlook the opportunity to display an act of kindness. In the end, it is really only ourselves that we hurt. What I mean by this is that we live in our own skin 24 hours a day, seven days a week, our whole life. The more we get “right” with ourselves, the more we can enjoy the journey. By living from a paradigm of love and compassion, whether it be in our work environment, at home, or the world at large the more experience wonderful, unexpected pleasures.
To feel good most of the time, to feel a sense of meaning and purpose, is a direct result of letting go of excuses to forgo kindness when the opportunities present themselves.
There is one form of kindness noteworthy of highlighting that stands above all other expressions of kind actions. Imagine being the catalyst that creates a moment in somebody’s life where they are pleasantly surprised, or the person that helps another individual or group of individuals to experience joy and gratitude. Now imagine that they don’t know the source of where the act of kindness came from. This anonymous act of kindness is second to none.
Whether it’s raking up the leaves in an elderly neighbor’s yard, paying anonymously for somebody’s tank of gas, or just taking your neighbors garbage can up to their home after a garbage pickup, these acts of kindness will leave others feeling appreciative while you feel the quiet gratitude and joy.
The secret: When we are kind to others we are really being kind to ourselves and the quality of our own life continues to improve. In addition, people will appear from all walks of life to share acts of kindness towards us. This is the essence of “The Law of Attraction” in action. Like any principle, expressions of kindness can be used for ulterior motives or be done from a position of selflessness. We do, however, need to practice these acts of kindness without any expectation of reward.
As we look ahead to tomorrow and find ourselves enjoying the Thanksgiving holiday, see what you can do to share your authentic kindness throughout the day. May your holiday be filled with gratitude and joy. And remember, a kind word said or a kind action taken will ultimately be a gift to yourself
Ephrem, thanks for adding your perspective. You’re right. It has never occurred to me that way that being kind to others is another act of loving kindness to yourself. Well said!
Thanks, Suzann. I like that tip too!
That’s a nice friend you have Mark. Wish I know him too
Have a Blast commiting Random Acts of Kindness!!
Evelyn
Hi Brad,
I wish to thank you for posting your thoughts. I had to read it three times for there is much wisdom embedded in what you wrote.
You said….
“all too often selfishness and self centeredness trump the principle of kindness”.
This reminds me of myself of the many times that I put my own needs before others. But definitely, awareness of our need to serve others is key.
Interestingly before I published my article which is actually 30 tips long, I had a debate with my husband whether thoughtfulness and consideration would mean kindness. We decided to adhere to a more strict definition that kindness is when you go beyond being considerate. Consideration and thoughtfulness is what you do for others “to make life easier for the other person”. It is an act of service that any decent human being should give. But when you are kind to people that you don’t even know, going beyond your call of duty, you are showing a genorosity (a spilling over) of spirit.
I guess consideration and thoughtfulness is often taken to mean kindness as well, because these qualites that are being “forfeited” or disregarded by many.
You are sure lucky to have been shown and taught loving kindness by your father, in a way that has left much impression. Thanks for sharing your story. It is a good lesson for any parent, like myself, to remember and learn.
To greater authenticity in our acts of kindness,
Evelyn
[...] A Random Act of Kindness: 15 Ideas To Kickstart Your Intention (tags: kindness) [...]
JEMi and Brennan,
Love ya!!!
Evelyn
On this past Monday I started i-sorcerer, and my first post was on a random act of kindness. I mentioned briefly stepping out of character, going where I had never been before. In the community where I live there is a VFW post that I’d never ventured into. I did on Monday, and found this old gent sitting at the bar alone. I struck up a conversation, and boy did he talk! I spent about half an hour listening to him, and the whole time felt this serene sense of peace. What I took from reading your post is to make this practice more routine, not so random. I think that is sound advice, and I’ll make an effort to put this into practice. Thanks.
Hi Cory,
Thanks for sharing. When you make this a practice, your inner joy increases!
Love and light,
Evelyn
This is a beautiful post.The more you commit random acts of kindness the easier it becomes.You begin to really like every thing more,even the things in life that bring you down.It’s a way of decreasing the level of hate in the world.
Thank you, Gregorio, I can’t help but be in agreement
Evelyn
[...] to a Cause A Random Act of Kindness- 15 Ideas To Kickstart Your Intention 6 Concepts You Must Teach Your Child Before Age 18 - Personal [...]
Great ideas! I performed my own RAK last night. A neighborhood dog had broken free from its fence and I took him, gave him some water and called his owners. They were very grateful, and I got a chance to meet a neighbor I didn’t know before.
Hi Brad,
I really liked your posting. It’s so touching and full of wisdom. I feel like dashing out of my house and go hugging everybody on the streets of Nairobi:-) To use your words, we live in our own skin 24 hours a day, seven days a week, our whole life and we forget such simple acts which would make a huge difference in other people’s lives and, above all,in our own lives.
Thanks a mil for sharing your thoughts.
Cheers
Ephrem
[...] A Random Act of Kindness: 15 Ideas to Kickstart Your Intention by Evelyn Lim [...]
If you see someone without a smile, then give them one of yours!
A simple complement can make someone’s day too!
just wanted to tell you i loved your post.
Thanks, Jenny, for your kind feedback
Evelyn
good website
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[...] an animal. There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile, or be happier.”read more | digg [...]
Very well put Evelyn!
This is a really nice and meaningful blog - I’ll definitely be back for more…
Thanks to all who have posted. I am busy learning one of life’s big lessons. Probably the biggest lesson that I will ever learn. And that is: “It is not about me, but about what I can do for others. I have pushed those closest to me away and I am payint the price. This has now forced me to stop and take a very long and hard look at myself at how I treat others. Thank you
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