It takes a lot of faith to believe what seems impossible, when things are going rough. From your perspective, you may believe that things are already so bad that they cannot get worse. What unbelievable bad luck, you say. You feel like banging your head against the wall, in frustration and despair. Perhaps, it may be due to a sequence of bad experiences that you have or if you are born with some physical challenges. Somehow, your life just seems a lot more difficult than others.
Well, I’d like to dedicate this post to those of you, who are going through a challenging period right now and who need a little support. I’ve often been through these episodes myself and what better way, from having pulled myself through countless times, than to share what I’ve learnt on my blog?
1. Stop The Victim Mentality
It’s really a waste of time, thinking “why me”. I’ve wasted enough brain bytes, going over this question like a mantra and yet, this questioning has not helped me one bit. So my first suggestion is to stop the victim mentality.
When you ask yourself “why me”, you are intending to say that you do not deserve what life has handed out to you. However, from what we know from the Law of Attraction or metaphysics, you cannot be a true victim because you have attracted a negative outcome into your physical reality somehow.
Fortunately, thoughts can be changed, to effect new changes. As you become more positive in your thoughts, you are sending out energy vibrations that match more desirable outcomes. The Universe responds by delivering what you have intended to you.
“Humans think they are asking with their words, or even with their action, and sometimes you are, but the Universe is not responding to your words or your action. The Universe is responding to your vibrational calling.”— Teachings from Abraham by Esther and Jerry Hicks
2. Trash The Worry
Worrying does not get you anywhere. I know it is easier said than done. It is human nature to worry. But the more you train your mind to be in a state of peace and calm, the less likely it will bring itself on a downward spiral.
Here is an exercise that you can do. Imagine in your mind the worries that you are having, each written on a seperate piece of paper. Then, visualize rolling the piece of paper and trashing them one-by-one.
Contemplate on this practical advice……
“A difficult situation can be handled in two ways: We can either do something to change it or face it. If we can do something, then why worry and get upset over it - just change it. If there is nothing we can do, again, why worry and get upset over it? Things will not get better with anger and worry.” —- Shantideva
3. Conquer The Fear
Undoubtedly you will need to have courage when you are faced with fear. Fear grips you when you are thrust into the unknown. You lose all sense of security when things are in the rough and you are not sure in which way, the future will unfold. In your moment of desperation, you are willing to grasp at the weakest straw even though it feels as if you are already drowning.
Yet, if you stop struggling and calm down, the answer on how to stay afloat may just appear before you. It is harder for such an answer to come, if your mind is on “how not to drown” rather than “how do I survive”.
You conquer the fear by framing your mind in the positive. Let go of the fear and tell yourself “I can and I shall”.
4. Perceive Problems Appropriately
It is possible that you magnify your problems from what they truly are. When you lose someone, you feel that you can never be happy again. When you feel that your work goes unrecognised, life sucks. When you face bankruptcy, you think that you can never pick yourself up again. And you choose to carry all that hurt, pain or emotional baggage around.
It will help to remind yourself that nothing is permanent. All things will one day come to an end. Including bad episodes. However, the longer you stay stuck in your level of pain, the worse it can be for you. Just remember about what the Law of Attraction says.
It’s all in the mind. How you face up to your problems makes a world of difference. It may also be that you are always pointing your finger outwards rather than at yourself.
“It’s always someone else’s fault!” you say.
Really?
It is important to know that you have as much to play in how things are turning out. Your consciousness is likely to have attracted a negative outcome because you’ve been exuding negative energy all along.
5. Ask Yourself If A Major Life Lesson Awaits
We all know that life is a continuous journey of ups and downs. Unfortunately, things can get a lot worse before they get better.
It is possible that from all the pain that you are going through now, a lesson about life awaits. Allow me to let you in on my secret from going through so many dramatic episodes previously: if I failed to learn my lesson the last time around; by life’s design, I find that I’m made to go through over and over again. Until I saw the light.
If you examine your history, you cannot help but repeat it! Law of Attraction says it is so: “Whatever I am looking at, I am including in my vibration.” — Teachings from Abraham by Esther and Jerry Hicks
So instead of “why me”, perhaps you should be asking yourself if there is some key lesson that you have missed out on and are expected to learn.
6. Practice Faith
It may be hard to have faith that you can overcome your problems, whilst you are in the thick of it. Yet, do be reminded that we all go through valleys and peaks in our lives. Think back about the last time when you went through a rough period. Did you not waste much time and mental energy brooding over your problems? With the elapse of time, you may even forget why you got so wound up in the first place.
Ask the Universe on a better state of affairs to what you are experiencing now. If you are on a journey because you are being fuelled by a vision, have faith that what you aspire to bring about will come true. Some visualization will help. Constantly, keep the big picture in your mind.
As each difficulty comes along, deal with it. Trust that with each surely step you take, a dim of light - in the darkest and deepest shadows of the forest - will shine through, casting itself on your path. That dim of light soon grows in strength, giving way to a strong burst of warm loving sunshine.
“Faith is like electricity. You can’t see it, but you can see the light.” — Unknown
7. Brave On With A Smile
Perhaps this is the most difficult of all. Yet, we often read of accounts of how successful people have triumphed over their failures, not just through sheer grit but also demonstrated a surprising amount of goodwill and light, even during the worst of times.
When you are going through difficulties, it is easy to put on a sulky face and to show it to the world. Perhaps what would help is to remind yourself that you are not the only one with problems. Remember this saying “I complained that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”
When you can set aside your ego and remove yourself from making much ado about your problems, then it is possible to even rejoice in the little comfort that you still have in your life.
“It’s easy enough to be pleasant;
When life flows like a song.
But the man worthwhile,
Is the one who can smile,
When things go dead wrong.
For the test of the heart is trouble,
And it always comes with the years,
And the smile that is worth
The praises of earth,
Is the smile that shines through the tears.
—- Ella Wilcox
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Fabulous post Evelyn
You echo what I believe, experience and share with folks.
We have more power than we realize in every experience - either to see the situation as a problem to bemoan as a victim or to find the gifts in the experience that invites us to evolve and awaken to the amazing creators we are.
Create a wonderfull day!
Lorraine
http://www.powerfull-living.biz
Yes, Evelyn,
One of the benefits of age and enduring painful life experiences is that you can look back at those experiences and learn from them. It is exhilarating to realize that so many things you thought were JUST TERRIBLE, when viewed in retrospect, turn out to have been turning points to a better and happier life.
Thank you, I needed that.
Conquering your fears and learning not to play the victim.. very valuable advice.
I’d add to stop playing the judge as well. Him and the victim work closely together.
Hello Jon, Brennan, Lorraine, thanks for your feedback. I’ve played myself to be the victim for the longest time that I just got tired of telling myself my own sob story. It took a long time for me to realise I need to set aside my ego; but once I got started, I’ve never felt better and more empowered.
Hey Jessica, glad my article helped! Let me know if I can be of further assistance to you!
Love and light,
Evelyn
I’ve noticed in my life that when the seemingly worst possible thing has happened, it was an opening into something great. I’ve been hearing a lot lately about turning your problems into opportunities rather than just sitting around complaining and giving up. This post goes right along with that idea.
Darlene
My dear Evelyn,
Just delightful and full of the stuff we need to succeed in life. What a transformation has happened in you of late. You are just a go getter and go better. You amaze me, dear.
One fine article indeed. Keep up the good work.
James
All 7 points I find very compelling and essential. I’ll only comment on facing fears - confront them head on!
I have had this experience and try to continue to practice this and it works. Fear is usually an irrational perception and when you face a fear again and again, you not only overcome it, you may learn to actually embrace what you once feared.
Hello Darlene, what a postive way way of looking at things. Hopefully, when things are in the dark for me, I can remember about what you say and look to see if I can turn adversity into opportunities.
Dr James, I can’t say that I have managed to successfully apply all 7 points. But it is my practice now to do my best in pulling myself together when the going gets rough.
Hi Mark, being of a timid nature all my life, I’ve lived with various fears constantly. In my own experience, it is not only about facing fear but learning to let go of it. For instance, I used to have the fear of water and venturing into the unknown. So I took up diving to conquer this fear. Despite going underwater over and over again, I continued to experience fear. I never quite overcome my fear completely, despite staring into it in each dive. I’ve not dived in a long time. Now when I reflect upon it, I realise what would have helped is if I have had stopped struggling and not held on so tightly. Letting go of my fear of death, not just through a diving trip but also ordinarily, is something that I’m still learning to this day.
With much thanks and appreciation to your sharing and inputs,
Evelyn
Third Edition of the Carnival of Improving Life…
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Great article, Evelyn! Getting over a life crisis is not so easy because our thoughts tend to spiral down and drag us into a dark place. To reverse this trend takes hard work.
Great post!
You have touched on many of the lesser known points on this subject. Personally, I enjoyed #5, simply because that learning a lesson from a situation will keep you out of so many in the future.
Max Norman
http://www.askthekid.org
These 7 points are very important. It is inevitable and we will find ourselves in rough seas. When we find ourselves in rough and very tough circumstances, we get shaken. We lose composure, and losing composure will affect our self control, our focus and direction.
It is very important for us to be grounded during tough and difficult circumstances. These 7 points will help us to be grounded and hold composure, it will help us to stay focus and keep moving in the right direction.
Excellent post
Thanks, Mary and Max for your lovely feedback.
Thanks, Brein, too for agreeing to the points in this article!
Love and light,
Evelyn
Hi Evelyn! Just stumbled upon this your wonderful post. Agree with you, especially with your last point on smiling. Maintaining a positive mood always makes difference.
Thanks!
Anna
Hi Evelyn also just ’stumbled’ on your post, which I thought was great. I especially agree with your point about trash the worry, and would add that I strongly believe that people get what they focus on. So, if one focusses on how tough times are, then invariably times will feel just that … tough. So often it’s easy to slip into the belief that we can’t change things when we’re feeling low, but by focussing on something else in that moment, which does make us feel good, it can help us to feel better more quickly. So, I’d add point no 8, you get what you focus on, so focus on things that do make you happy as much as possible.
Thanks Evelyn, I’m sure your post has helped many people.
Tamsin
[...] Source :>> Bookmark It Hide Sites [...]
Nice one;
instead of book mark;
i posted it on my blog with link back to your original post;
http://supari.org/7-tips/
If you have concerns; let me know;
i will delete the post.
Regards.
Thanks dear! needed to read that!!!
I stumbled upon your article today while googling for self-improvement tips.
I am thankful to you for writing this as this has given me hope. I am dealing with a tough situation at work and this has me in the dumps. I am someone who lets their work/professional life define who they are.
After reading you article, i am trying to be more positive and less negative. For the last few weeks, the thoughts in my head have been negative and self-demeaning. I view the lack of success at my job as a personal failure.
Going forward, i will focus on being positive and thinking of the solution to the problem rather than the reasons.
Regards,
Juhi
Evelyn,
Thanks for this wonderful article. We are going through a tough time right now, and I was (perhaps still am) in the “why us” mode. A few events have repeated over and over again in our lives. But your article has forced me to rethink, and now I am beginning to wonder “is there something that we ought to have learnt last time that we did not and these events have repeated themselves again”? Thanks very much for making me see a different perspective. Hopefully, I get the message this time!
Best wishes,
Jvg
@Juhi, Jenn and Tasmin,
Thanks for your stumbles. I did not realise how much help my article has provided. You have been most kind to provide a feedback.
@Jvg, oh yes…many of us have been guilty of the victim mentality at one point or another. It’s time to take responsibility. You can change your future through the thoughts that you think.
All the best,
Evelyn